What Makes Sobriety Stick for Men? with Guest Jordon Wilson
Announcer (00:00:03):
You're listening to The Recovered Life Show,
Announcer (00:00:05):
the show that helps people in recovery live their best recovered lives.
Damon Frank (00:00:10):
And here is your host, Damon Frank.
Damon Frank (00:00:14):
And welcome back to The Recovered Life Show.
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I'm thrilled to have on Jordan Wilson with us today.
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Jordan has made an incredible journey from drug addiction to becoming the recovery
Damon Frank (00:00:25):
director at Friends of Sinners,
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a men's faith-based recovery program in Owensboro,
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Kentucky.
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Today,
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he'll share some insights about his personal story,
Damon Frank (00:00:37):
and also we're gonna talk about what makes sobriety stick for men.
Damon Frank (00:00:42):
Welcome to the show, Jordan.
Jordon Wilson (00:00:44):
Hey, thanks so much for having me on.
Jordon Wilson (00:00:45):
I'm excited.
Damon Frank (00:00:46):
I'm so thrilled to have you on.
Damon Frank (00:00:48):
You know,
Damon Frank (00:00:48):
I came across a news article talking about you and talking about your basic
Damon Frank (00:00:54):
transformation from somebody who was in and out of jail,
Damon Frank (00:00:59):
drug addict,
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notorious for using drugs,
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and now running this very successful religious and faith-based organization
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recovery center.
Damon Frank (00:01:13):
I thought this was so interesting.
Damon Frank (00:01:15):
I think so many men are trying to figure out in sobriety how to do what you've done,
Damon Frank (00:01:22):
how to really make sobriety stick.
Damon Frank (00:01:24):
Welcome to the show.
Damon Frank (00:01:25):
Can you tell us a little bit about your journey and about how you got here?
Jordon Wilson (00:01:30):
Yeah.
Jordon Wilson (00:01:31):
I'm from a
Jordon Wilson (00:01:33):
a small town in Western Kentucky.
Jordon Wilson (00:01:35):
Um, and I was raised in a God-fearing household.
Jordon Wilson (00:01:39):
I had great parents.
Jordon Wilson (00:01:40):
They stayed married up until I was an adult.
Jordon Wilson (00:01:42):
And,
Jordon Wilson (00:01:43):
um,
Jordon Wilson (00:01:44):
I started partying as a teenager,
Jordon Wilson (00:01:46):
you know,
Jordon Wilson (00:01:47):
I,
Jordon Wilson (00:01:47):
um,
Jordon Wilson (00:01:48):
kind of stopped wanting to do the church thing that my parents had me doing and,
Jordon Wilson (00:01:52):
uh,
Jordon Wilson (00:01:52):
wanted to just chase women and popularity and drinking and smoking weed and things
Jordon Wilson (00:01:56):
like that.
Jordon Wilson (00:01:57):
But, uh,
Jordon Wilson (00:01:59):
I became, during this process, I became addicted to narcotic pain pills.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:04):
I kind of, I was, I don't want to say sheltered, but I was raised ignorant of drugs.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:10):
I didn't know anything about them.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:12):
And I thought, you know, as becoming a young man, I was very athletic.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:16):
I lifted weights.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:17):
People knew me and my family.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:18):
I never thought that I could become addicted to drugs.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:22):
But it was happening right before me.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:25):
It was happening to me.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:26):
And I didn't even know.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:27):
I thought,
Jordon Wilson (00:02:28):
I could quit anytime I want.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:30):
I just don't want to.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:31):
I'm having fun until it wasn't fun anymore.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:35):
Right.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:36):
And once I realized I was physically addicted to painkillers, my life really took a turn.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:42):
The party was basically over.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:44):
It wasn't fun anymore.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:46):
Started getting very criminal.
Jordon Wilson (00:02:48):
And before long, you know,
Jordon Wilson (00:02:51):
I'm finished with high school and college and trying to live life and pay my bills
Jordon Wilson (00:02:57):
while addicted to painkillers.
Jordon Wilson (00:03:01):
I lose my job because of my addiction and resort to full-time drug dealing because
Jordon Wilson (00:03:06):
it's like a slow,
Jordon Wilson (00:03:08):
steady fail.
Jordon Wilson (00:03:11):
And that's what was happening to me.
Jordon Wilson (00:03:13):
Yeah, I became a full-time drug dealer, manufacturer of other drugs.
Jordon Wilson (00:03:18):
Because when you're in that world, you meet other people who do other things.
Jordon Wilson (00:03:21):
And so my life is just consumed with narcotics.
Jordon Wilson (00:03:26):
And eventually what started my road to recovery is me getting busted 10 years ago, March of 2014.
Jordon Wilson (00:03:32):
That's what started the process for me.
Damon Frank (00:03:39):
You know,
Damon Frank (00:03:39):
it's interesting that you talk about getting into the drug business,
Damon Frank (00:03:43):
because I think right now a lot of people are seeing the homeless situation.
Damon Frank (00:03:47):
They're seeing addicts on the streets of major cities, even in suburbs that were never there before.
Damon Frank (00:03:53):
They know somebody who's gotten sucked up into this,
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and they think it's literally a moral and crime issue.
Damon Frank (00:03:59):
And although there is some morality in that, obviously, and we'll talk about that later,
Damon Frank (00:04:05):
But a lot of it is just a physical dependency on trying to be able to kind of fuel this.
Damon Frank (00:04:12):
So let's go to this time when you're busted.
Damon Frank (00:04:17):
You're in handcuffs.
Damon Frank (00:04:18):
You're probably in lockup awaiting your fate.
Damon Frank (00:04:22):
What was the thing that really turned it around for you, Jordan?
Damon Frank (00:04:25):
What was the aha moment where you said, you know what?
Damon Frank (00:04:31):
Maybe there is a possibility that I could get sober.
Jordon Wilson (00:04:36):
So, you know, detoxing was just horrific.
Jordon Wilson (00:04:40):
You know, I was detoxing from, uh, 20 painkillers a day.
Jordon Wilson (00:04:44):
I was detoxing from crystal meth, from spice, from benzodiazepine, alcohol.
Jordon Wilson (00:04:48):
I mean, you name it.
Jordon Wilson (00:04:49):
Like I was a mess, so sick.
Jordon Wilson (00:04:52):
And, um, it was my first time being sober and I thought, you know, I was just so naive.
Jordon Wilson (00:04:58):
I thought that it was over.
Jordon Wilson (00:05:00):
Right.
Jordon Wilson (00:05:00):
I thought, Hey, I'm, I'm detox now.
Jordon Wilson (00:05:02):
I'm good.
Jordon Wilson (00:05:03):
But I didn't know that, um, I was basically right in that pink cloud that they talk about.
Jordon Wilson (00:05:09):
Um,
Jordon Wilson (00:05:10):
And I fell through the pink cloud after I was incarcerated.
Jordon Wilson (00:05:14):
After I went to rehab, I made it a few months into the program that I was in before I had relapsed.
Jordon Wilson (00:05:18):
And so I didn't realize the mental obsession that I had with drugs, you know, and really
Jordon Wilson (00:05:26):
You know, it was an underlying issue, right?
Jordon Wilson (00:05:29):
Typically people use drugs as a bandaid for a bigger issue.
Jordon Wilson (00:05:32):
And so that's what I was doing.
Jordon Wilson (00:05:33):
You know,
Jordon Wilson (00:05:33):
I had some traumas that I hadn't dealt with and some insecurities I hadn't dealt with,
Jordon Wilson (00:05:37):
which I was using narcotics as a way to take away that pain and take away the
Jordon Wilson (00:05:42):
stress of life.
Jordon Wilson (00:05:44):
Uh, but honestly, I was kicked out of rehab.
Jordon Wilson (00:05:47):
I went back to jail because I wanted to get sober, but I wasn't all in.
Jordon Wilson (00:05:51):
Right.
Jordon Wilson (00:05:52):
Um,
Jordon Wilson (00:05:53):
you know,
Jordon Wilson (00:05:53):
I was raised to believe in God and I kind of walked away from that faith and was
Jordon Wilson (00:05:56):
doubting if there was a God and all these things until March 27th,
Jordon Wilson (00:06:02):
2016,
Jordon Wilson (00:06:02):
my dad asked me to come to church.
Jordon Wilson (00:06:04):
And, uh, you know, at this point I'm homeless.
Jordon Wilson (00:06:07):
I was just kicked out of where I was living.
Jordon Wilson (00:06:08):
Uh, I was a mess.
Jordon Wilson (00:06:10):
It was horrible.
Jordon Wilson (00:06:11):
And I told him, no, I said, don't want to go.
Jordon Wilson (00:06:18):
you know it's easter will you come for easter and you know of course us as
Jordon Wilson (00:06:22):
americans we celebrate the resurrection of christ on easter sunday and i said no
Jordon Wilson (00:06:26):
i'm sick and then my dad said well son it's my birthday will you go to church with
Jordon Wilson (00:06:30):
me on easter sunday for my birthday and so finally i said okay i'll go i'll be sick
Jordon Wilson (00:06:36):
because i was detoxing didn't have any more drugs i was sick as a dog and i went to
Jordon Wilson (00:06:40):
church with my dad and apparently the pastor said something that day um
Jordon Wilson (00:06:48):
that I needed to hear.
Jordon Wilson (00:06:49):
He said,
Jordon Wilson (00:06:49):
if you have been living without purpose,
Jordon Wilson (00:06:52):
you can come to this altar,
Jordon Wilson (00:06:53):
give your life to Jesus,
Jordon Wilson (00:06:54):
and you'll have purpose.
Jordon Wilson (00:06:55):
And that was something,
Jordon Wilson (00:06:56):
man,
Jordon Wilson (00:06:57):
that I had needed to hear for a decade because I was trying to fill my life with
Jordon Wilson (00:07:02):
anything to make me feel satisfied,
Jordon Wilson (00:07:04):
right?
Jordon Wilson (00:07:05):
I thought that going to the gym and being able to bench press and squat a certain
Jordon Wilson (00:07:08):
amount of weight would make me happy,
Jordon Wilson (00:07:10):
and I did that,
Jordon Wilson (00:07:10):
and it didn't make me happy.
Jordon Wilson (00:07:12):
I had beautiful women in my life that wanted to
Jordon Wilson (00:07:14):
date me and marry me.
Jordon Wilson (00:07:15):
That didn't satisfy me.
Jordon Wilson (00:07:16):
I owned a home, I had money and all of these things.
Jordon Wilson (00:07:20):
And I was just, I felt no purpose in my life.
Jordon Wilson (00:07:23):
And, uh, and so when he said that it was as if, um, an out of body experience.
Jordon Wilson (00:07:29):
And so I went to the altar and I decided I was going to truly learn about Jesus for myself,
Jordon Wilson (00:07:34):
this Jesus of the Bible.
Jordon Wilson (00:07:35):
I was going to read it.
Jordon Wilson (00:07:36):
I was going to discover who he was and why people still follow him 2000 years later.
Jordon Wilson (00:07:40):
And, um,
Jordon Wilson (00:07:42):
my life changed forever that day march 27 2016 and that's my sobriety day i gave my
Jordon Wilson (00:07:50):
life to christ that day and i i never used drugs that was my aha you know i i i
Damon Frank (00:07:56):
love what you're talking about with purpose and you know one of the things jordan
Damon Frank (00:08:02):
that i talk about is that when i first got sober he was through a 12-step program
Damon Frank (00:08:07):
And I have to tell you,
Damon Frank (00:08:09):
like,
Damon Frank (00:08:10):
when I heard the words powerlessness and unmanageability,
Damon Frank (00:08:14):
I was like,
Damon Frank (00:08:15):
there's no way I'm going to be able to find my purpose and be able to let go of
Damon Frank (00:08:19):
powerlessness and unmanageability.
Damon Frank (00:08:21):
Like, that's one of the worst things that you could tell Damon Frank.
Damon Frank (00:08:25):
Like, I'll do anything but that, right?
Damon Frank (00:08:27):
Like, it was bad enough that I realized that I couldn't drink anymore.
Damon Frank (00:08:31):
But now you're telling me that I'm going to have zero control, basically.
Damon Frank (00:08:36):
And, you know, my life is totally unmanageable.
Damon Frank (00:08:38):
And I've got to admit to that.
Damon Frank (00:08:40):
I did not see, you know, and I believe firmly that men need a purpose, right?
Damon Frank (00:08:46):
You know,
Damon Frank (00:08:47):
one of the issues,
Damon Frank (00:08:48):
right,
Damon Frank (00:08:48):
Jordan,
Damon Frank (00:08:49):
you might agree with me,
Damon Frank (00:08:50):
obviously you do,
Damon Frank (00:08:50):
because you've been through this and you're working with men day to day.
Damon Frank (00:08:54):
If men don't have a purpose and a goal, it's very tough for men.
Damon Frank (00:08:59):
And I didn't see that link.
Damon Frank (00:09:01):
How in the heck am I going to get from admitting I'm powerless and my life's unmanageable to
Damon Frank (00:09:08):
to a purpose and then being able to thrive in that.
Damon Frank (00:09:12):
How were you able to get past that and really let go and surrender?
Jordon Wilson (00:09:17):
Right.
Jordon Wilson (00:09:18):
So I started actually reading the Bible for myself as an adult and able to kind of
Jordon Wilson (00:09:24):
make up my own mind as to why.
Jordon Wilson (00:09:27):
what it said and i started believing what the bible said about me as an individual
Jordon Wilson (00:09:31):
is that i was fearfully and wonderfully made and that god that god loved me and uh
Jordon Wilson (00:09:36):
i started believing it because for so long i haven't loved me i didn't think i was
Jordon Wilson (00:09:40):
fearfully and wonderfully made i thought that i was um a talentless you know
Jordon Wilson (00:09:51):
I thought that I was useless.
Jordon Wilson (00:09:53):
I didn't think that I was good for the world.
Jordon Wilson (00:09:55):
And then I started using my outlook on myself.
Jordon Wilson (00:09:58):
And once I did that, everything started to change for me.
Jordon Wilson (00:10:02):
I started feeling purpose that, okay, there is a God that he loves me.
Jordon Wilson (00:10:06):
He kept me alive, right?
Jordon Wilson (00:10:07):
Because if you read my book,
Jordon Wilson (00:10:09):
you'll see there are several circumstances in my life where I should have died.
Jordon Wilson (00:10:13):
Guns pulled on me, overdoses, all kinds of things.
Jordon Wilson (00:10:16):
He kept me alive.
Jordon Wilson (00:10:17):
And so my work ethic changed, right?
Jordon Wilson (00:10:20):
I went to this program, a 12-step program, you know, a program that worked 12 steps.
Jordon Wilson (00:10:25):
And I started learning about addiction.
Jordon Wilson (00:10:27):
And I started, you know what I learned?
Jordon Wilson (00:10:28):
I learned that I was no match for addiction.
Jordon Wilson (00:10:32):
I always thought that I was too tough and too bullheaded to,
Jordon Wilson (00:10:40):
but i i'm not right like i i'm helpless to the addiction so i needed something
Jordon Wilson (00:10:46):
divine to help me and once i realized hey you know like i'm not fighting this alone
Jordon Wilson (00:10:51):
right like i know that god loves me and i started seeing the people that were
Jordon Wilson (00:10:55):
really in my corner my family and the people that i had met in the recovery world
Jordon Wilson (00:11:00):
that i wasn't finding this alone and so my mind started to change and once my mind
Jordon Wilson (00:11:05):
started to change everything started to change my work ethic my focus my
Jordon Wilson (00:11:11):
My drive, you name it.
Damon Frank (00:11:13):
You know, I like how you put that.
Damon Frank (00:11:16):
One of the things that I found was interesting,
Damon Frank (00:11:18):
Jordan,
Damon Frank (00:11:18):
is that when I had a hard time,
Damon Frank (00:11:22):
you know,
Damon Frank (00:11:22):
because somebody told me very early on in recovery,
Damon Frank (00:11:25):
it's like,
Damon Frank (00:11:25):
well,
Damon Frank (00:11:25):
if God loves you so much,
Damon Frank (00:11:28):
how come you're an alcoholic in your 20s?
Damon Frank (00:11:31):
with no future, right?
Damon Frank (00:11:34):
And that was a good question for me.
Damon Frank (00:11:36):
And I couldn't really see God working in my life.
Damon Frank (00:11:38):
But what happened to me is I started to see God working in other people's lives.
Damon Frank (00:11:44):
And then the question started to arise, Jordan.
Damon Frank (00:11:47):
Well, if I can identify God working in their life and I can see it, I could see that transformation.
Damon Frank (00:11:54):
I could see how it's working for them.
Damon Frank (00:11:58):
If I can identify that,
Damon Frank (00:12:01):
then obviously it's working in my life too.
Damon Frank (00:12:06):
I'll be able to start seeing it in my life.
Damon Frank (00:12:08):
And that little shift was big for me
Damon Frank (00:12:13):
Because I couldn't see it in my life.
Damon Frank (00:12:15):
You know, I couldn't.
Damon Frank (00:12:16):
You know, that's just the reality of it.
Damon Frank (00:12:19):
Because I was really unable to let go.
Damon Frank (00:12:21):
But when I started seeing it working with other people, that's really when it started to break through.
Damon Frank (00:12:26):
You know, I got to ask you this, Jordan.
Damon Frank (00:12:27):
Working with men who come in, they're not in a good place financially, spiritually, their health.
Damon Frank (00:12:34):
You're seeing people who are wrecked, basically.
Damon Frank (00:12:37):
What do you think is the big...
Damon Frank (00:12:40):
the big thing,
Damon Frank (00:12:41):
if you were to look at yourself and everyone else that you work with,
Damon Frank (00:12:46):
that the big shift,
Damon Frank (00:12:49):
the first big shift that people have to have to really make sobriety stick
Jordon Wilson (00:12:55):
Yeah,
Jordon Wilson (00:12:56):
I think it's just realizing that you're not tough enough as a man,
Jordon Wilson (00:13:01):
right,
Jordon Wilson (00:13:01):
or as an individual to do it your own way,
Jordon Wilson (00:13:05):
right?
Jordon Wilson (00:13:05):
That is so huge.
Jordon Wilson (00:13:06):
You know,
Jordon Wilson (00:13:07):
we see people all the time and,
Jordon Wilson (00:13:09):
you know,
Jordon Wilson (00:13:10):
this may be their 10th time in a rehab and their answers are usually always the same.
Jordon Wilson (00:13:14):
Like, man, I thought I had it.
Jordon Wilson (00:13:16):
Or I thought I could do it on my own and you just can't.
Jordon Wilson (00:13:20):
And, um, that's really hard for men to do.
Jordon Wilson (00:13:22):
It's hard for myself, right?
Jordon Wilson (00:13:24):
We were men.
Jordon Wilson (00:13:25):
We,
Jordon Wilson (00:13:25):
we want to be able to handle stuff and fight the battle and win,
Jordon Wilson (00:13:29):
but,
Jordon Wilson (00:13:29):
um,
Jordon Wilson (00:13:30):
this is a different kind of war.
Jordon Wilson (00:13:31):
Right.
Jordon Wilson (00:13:33):
And, um,
Jordon Wilson (00:13:35):
realizing that you are no match for the chemicals in a substance whether it's
Jordon Wilson (00:13:39):
alcohol or narcotics you're no match once you once you realize that you need help
Jordon Wilson (00:13:45):
like seriously that you can't do it on your own that you need divine help you need
Jordon Wilson (00:13:51):
a army of people around you you need advice you need the steps you need all of
Jordon Wilson (00:13:55):
these things to to get there so i think that once you a man can humble himself and
Jordon Wilson (00:14:01):
say okay
Jordon Wilson (00:14:03):
I surrender, right?
Jordon Wilson (00:14:04):
Like I need help.
Jordon Wilson (00:14:05):
That's when the process of healing, I think, really starts.
Damon Frank (00:14:09):
I so agree with you.
Damon Frank (00:14:10):
You know,
Damon Frank (00:14:11):
one of the things,
Damon Frank (00:14:12):
if I work with somebody in a 12-step program or anything,
Damon Frank (00:14:15):
it's one of the things that they ask me,
Damon Frank (00:14:17):
like,
Damon Frank (00:14:17):
Jamie,
Damon Frank (00:14:17):
how'd you stay sober 30 years?
Damon Frank (00:14:19):
And I said, well, I start every day giving up.
Damon Frank (00:14:22):
Understanding that that battle that I fought is not only BS, it's not one I want to fight.
Damon Frank (00:14:28):
It's not one that I can win.
Damon Frank (00:14:30):
It's not one that I want to win.
Damon Frank (00:14:31):
That's the other thing.
Damon Frank (00:14:33):
You know, it's like drinking doesn't work for me.
Damon Frank (00:14:38):
I have to admit the fact that I am different in that sense.
Damon Frank (00:14:42):
I'm never going to be able to drink.
Damon Frank (00:14:43):
I think really understanding that you've had defeat,
Damon Frank (00:14:48):
especially as a man,
Damon Frank (00:14:50):
and then being able to say,
Damon Frank (00:14:52):
look,
Damon Frank (00:14:53):
this is a fight I lost.
Damon Frank (00:14:56):
is important because I think that opens up the ability to create something new without that.
Damon Frank (00:15:02):
You're stuck there trying to fight that same battle over and over.
Damon Frank (00:15:05):
And I see that a lot with men.
Damon Frank (00:15:07):
How did you get out of this?
Damon Frank (00:15:09):
Like, I know you now you're an author, you wrote a book and you just sent me one and I'm so excited.
Damon Frank (00:15:13):
I'm going to put a link guys in the show notes.
Damon Frank (00:15:16):
So everybody can order that.
Damon Frank (00:15:18):
How did you, what was the journey from?
Damon Frank (00:15:20):
Okay.
Damon Frank (00:15:22):
I'm sober now.
Damon Frank (00:15:23):
I've turned my life over to Christ.
Damon Frank (00:15:26):
I'm pursuing sobriety to now really doing this day to day for people.
Jordon Wilson (00:15:32):
Yeah.
Jordon Wilson (00:15:33):
It's kind of like you said, man, I wake up every day and I surrender, right?
Jordon Wilson (00:15:36):
My book is called Jesus greater than drugs.
Jordon Wilson (00:15:38):
The only war won by surrender, right?
Jordon Wilson (00:15:41):
Like that's how you win this war is through surrender.
Jordon Wilson (00:15:44):
And so I wake up every day.
Jordon Wilson (00:15:45):
I acknowledge God.
Jordon Wilson (00:15:46):
I acknowledge my need for him.
Jordon Wilson (00:15:48):
Um, and honestly, that's what I've done for eight years, every single day.
Jordon Wilson (00:15:52):
Um, every day I get alone time with God, right?
Jordon Wilson (00:15:55):
Uh,
Jordon Wilson (00:15:56):
In the beginning of my recovery,
Jordon Wilson (00:15:58):
when I was in treatment center,
Jordon Wilson (00:16:00):
it made most sense for me to do it in the mornings.
Jordon Wilson (00:16:02):
Well,
Jordon Wilson (00:16:02):
now that I have a wife and two kids,
Jordon Wilson (00:16:04):
it makes most sense for me to do it at night once my family's asleep.
Jordon Wilson (00:16:07):
But every day,
Jordon Wilson (00:16:09):
seven days of the week,
Jordon Wilson (00:16:10):
I get private time with me and my higher power that I like to call Jesus Christ.
Jordon Wilson (00:16:15):
And so I'll pray and I'll read the word.
Jordon Wilson (00:16:17):
But then also I have stayed on a very structured schedule, my entire sobriety.
Jordon Wilson (00:16:23):
While I was in rehab, you know, I'd wake up, I'd do my chores.
Jordon Wilson (00:16:27):
I would eat breakfast.
Jordon Wilson (00:16:28):
I would spend time with the Lord.
Jordon Wilson (00:16:30):
I would do everything that I was required to at the facility.
Jordon Wilson (00:16:34):
Then I'd go to work and then I'd go back and I'd do whatever I had to do.
Jordon Wilson (00:16:38):
And honestly, having a structured schedule for myself has been so beneficial.
Jordon Wilson (00:16:42):
You know, like we have lived sporadic, impulsive lives for so long.
Jordon Wilson (00:16:47):
We just did what we wanted, when we wanted, and, you know, just kind of just skated by to survive.
Jordon Wilson (00:16:53):
But now I'm, I'm very structured, right?
Jordon Wilson (00:16:56):
I've got a routine and, um,
Jordon Wilson (00:16:59):
Yeah, man.
Jordon Wilson (00:17:00):
I stay busy in all positive ways and then I allow myself rest.
Jordon Wilson (00:17:05):
So everything that I do on a day-to-day basis is very planned out.
Damon Frank (00:17:12):
I love that.
Damon Frank (00:17:13):
I think structure is... I think when we're using...
Damon Frank (00:17:17):
we're looking at that if only I could get that structure going and still use, right?
Damon Frank (00:17:22):
Like, you know, it's that juggly back and forth.
Damon Frank (00:17:25):
And you realize when you're sober that just doing the small little things work.
Damon Frank (00:17:29):
Guys, I have to ask everybody, if you're listening on the podcast, head over to recoveredlife.tv.
Damon Frank (00:17:36):
We put a poll in there that you could vote.
Damon Frank (00:17:39):
What do you think is the most important for achieving long-term sobriety and
Damon Frank (00:17:44):
in for men definitely go ahead and uh take that vote there we'd love to hear what
Damon Frank (00:17:50):
you guys have to say about it you know jordan let's move to friends of sinners here
Damon Frank (00:17:56):
a little bit uh this is an amazing institution tell us a little bit where you're at
Damon Frank (00:18:01):
what is this all this friends of sinners about and and why are you having such
Damon Frank (00:18:04):
great success there how are you doing that so friends of sinners was established in
Jordon Wilson (00:18:09):
2009 so we're 15 years old our founder
Jordon Wilson (00:18:14):
uh is in long-term recovery himself he gave his life to christ while he was in
Jordon Wilson (00:18:17):
prison for manufacturing and distributing narcotics and when he came out of prison
Jordon Wilson (00:18:22):
he was sent to a secular program and uh you know he did well he thrived but he
Jordon Wilson (00:18:27):
thought man like people he thought people need a spiritual side of things people
Jordon Wilson (00:18:31):
need a relationship with jesus so he founded friends of sinners which is the name
Jordon Wilson (00:18:35):
is driven from the bible right like the religious leaders
Jordon Wilson (00:18:40):
called Jesus a friend of sinners to shame him,
Jordon Wilson (00:18:42):
but it was honestly to Jesus's glory because Jesus attracted sinners.
Jordon Wilson (00:18:48):
And when sinners came to Jesus, we didn't remain sinners.
Jordon Wilson (00:18:52):
So we were established as a Christ-centered residential treatment program for men.
Jordon Wilson (00:18:56):
Two years later, we added women.
Jordon Wilson (00:18:57):
So now we treat both men and women at separate locations.
Jordon Wilson (00:19:01):
Our clients will live with us for 12 months.
Jordon Wilson (00:19:03):
They'll work the steps of narcotics and or Alcoholics Anonymous.
Jordon Wilson (00:19:07):
They attend Celebrate Recovery.
Jordon Wilson (00:19:09):
learn life skills uh work ethic we allow them to work after the first month of
Jordon Wilson (00:19:14):
treatment we help them with their court appointments they have random drug testing
Jordon Wilson (00:19:18):
uh we'll help them get their ged even put them back in college they get fully
Jordon Wilson (00:19:22):
medically assessed if they need medicine to help them we understand that many
Jordon Wilson (00:19:26):
people are dual diagnosed whether it's adhd bipolar schizophrenic we understand
Jordon Wilson (00:19:30):
that that's kind of uh
Jordon Wilson (00:19:32):
just a part of the struggle.
Jordon Wilson (00:19:34):
So it's a very holistic approach to treatment.
Jordon Wilson (00:19:37):
But our goal is not just sobriety.
Jordon Wilson (00:19:40):
Our goal is to introduce our clients to Jesus.
Jordon Wilson (00:19:42):
And we believe that sobriety will be a byproduct of that.
Jordon Wilson (00:19:46):
So we've been doing well.
Jordon Wilson (00:19:47):
I've been the development director here for five years.
Jordon Wilson (00:19:50):
So my focus really is marketing, fundraising.
Jordon Wilson (00:19:54):
We don't bill insurance,
Jordon Wilson (00:19:56):
which is unheard of really when it comes to residential treatment because we know
Jordon Wilson (00:20:01):
how much money there is in it.
Jordon Wilson (00:20:02):
However,
Jordon Wilson (00:20:03):
we've seen firsthand what insurance providers can do to a Christ-centered aspect of
Jordon Wilson (00:20:08):
a program,
Jordon Wilson (00:20:08):
and they can take Christ out.
Jordon Wilson (00:20:10):
So we don't bill insurance whatsoever.
Jordon Wilson (00:20:12):
We're able to do what we do through monthly donors, grants, and fundraisers.
Damon Frank (00:20:17):
I love your approach, and there's a couple of institutions like this in Los Angeles as well.
Damon Frank (00:20:23):
And I love your approach because you're right about
Damon Frank (00:20:28):
this whole insurance-ization, I guess you would call it, of the recovery business, right?
Damon Frank (00:20:34):
And we talk about that on the Recovered Life Show.
Damon Frank (00:20:37):
What I really love about Friends of Sinners is that,
Damon Frank (00:20:40):
like,
Damon Frank (00:20:40):
our goal here in Recovered Life is not for people just to get sober.
Damon Frank (00:20:44):
It's for people to have their best recovered life, right?
Damon Frank (00:20:47):
And I think a spiritual journey,
Damon Frank (00:20:50):
and sometimes for some people that's religion,
Damon Frank (00:20:54):
you know,
Damon Frank (00:20:54):
like we were talking earlier,
Damon Frank (00:20:56):
I said,
Damon Frank (00:20:56):
you know,
Damon Frank (00:20:57):
uh a lot of the people that i've worked with over my time sober started out totally
Damon Frank (00:21:04):
as atheists or agnostics and then ended up kind of becoming very religious right
Damon Frank (00:21:09):
like so i think it's an evolution and i think that you guys are that that you guys
Damon Frank (00:21:14):
set that up for people to win at the very beginning i think is super important
Damon Frank (00:21:20):
What's the future for you?
Damon Frank (00:21:22):
What do you think the future is, especially for men's recovery, Jordan?
Damon Frank (00:21:27):
You're working in this now.
Damon Frank (00:21:29):
You're looking on the streets, I'm sure, in your town.
Damon Frank (00:21:32):
You've got fentanyl.
Damon Frank (00:21:35):
It's worse than ever, probably, right?
Damon Frank (00:21:36):
I know here in Los Angeles, that's all I hear from people in and out of recovery is it's worse than ever.
Damon Frank (00:21:43):
What do you think the future of recovery, especially for men, is going to be in the upcoming years here?
Jordon Wilson (00:21:50):
Well, I hate to say it, man, but fentanyl is wiping out an entire generation.
Jordon Wilson (00:21:55):
I keep a running list on my phone that's just growing and growing with all the
Jordon Wilson (00:22:00):
friends and acquaintances that I've had that have passed away due to drugs one
Jordon Wilson (00:22:05):
fashion or another,
Jordon Wilson (00:22:05):
whether it's liver failure,
Jordon Wilson (00:22:07):
murder,
Jordon Wilson (00:22:08):
or overdose.
Jordon Wilson (00:22:11):
It's not looking good to tell you the truth, man.
Jordon Wilson (00:22:13):
The numbers have, they're just staggering.
Jordon Wilson (00:22:16):
We've reached over 100,000 overdose deaths in the past 12 months.
Jordon Wilson (00:22:23):
But there is hope, right?
Jordon Wilson (00:22:24):
There is hope.
Jordon Wilson (00:22:25):
And I think that as long as we in the recovery world continue to stand out and tell
Jordon Wilson (00:22:30):
our stories,
Jordon Wilson (00:22:31):
that it will draw more people in.
Jordon Wilson (00:22:34):
So I'm trusting in God, man, that a great revival is going to happen.
Jordon Wilson (00:22:37):
People's going to be set free and saved in Jesus name.
Jordon Wilson (00:22:40):
But as it sets right now, the numbers are bad.
Jordon Wilson (00:22:45):
And they seem to be rising.
Jordon Wilson (00:22:47):
But I just think that that's where we have to stand up.
Jordon Wilson (00:22:49):
I tell people all the time, we have to tell our stories.
Jordon Wilson (00:22:53):
We have to share.
Jordon Wilson (00:22:54):
If you're a year sober,
Jordon Wilson (00:22:55):
10 years sober,
Jordon Wilson (00:22:56):
tell your story because it may be the next person's survival guide.
Damon Frank (00:23:01):
Absolutely.
Damon Frank (00:23:01):
You know what?
Damon Frank (00:23:03):
No, I'll be honest.
Damon Frank (00:23:04):
You're absolutely right about that.
Damon Frank (00:23:06):
One of the things that I always say is like,
Damon Frank (00:23:09):
I go around the streets of Los Angeles here,
Damon Frank (00:23:11):
even go in the store and I see this,
Damon Frank (00:23:13):
right?
Damon Frank (00:23:13):
Trank,
Damon Frank (00:23:14):
fentanyl,
Damon Frank (00:23:15):
all this new stuff that's out on the street and alcohol still the worst,
Damon Frank (00:23:19):
which was my drug of choice,
Damon Frank (00:23:21):
still killing a ton of people,
Damon Frank (00:23:22):
especially since COVID.
Damon Frank (00:23:24):
And I always have to remind myself, look at me, look at you, Jordan, look at
Damon Frank (00:23:30):
numerous friends that I have.
Damon Frank (00:23:31):
I just got a wedding invitation from somebody that I saw come in almost 10 years ago,
Damon Frank (00:23:37):
came in that could not get sober,
Damon Frank (00:23:39):
is now sober,
Damon Frank (00:23:39):
getting married,
Damon Frank (00:23:40):
all this stuff.
Damon Frank (00:23:41):
So it's possible that everyone can recover.
Damon Frank (00:23:46):
It is possible,
Damon Frank (00:23:48):
and I know it's frustrating sometimes,
Damon Frank (00:23:49):
but it is possible that we could have massive recovery when people start to wake up.
Damon Frank (00:23:57):
And I think that spiritual path, that path to God, ultimately is what people are waking up to.
Jordon Wilson (00:24:02):
yeah that's what did it for me man like i tried i tried every way to get sober man
Jordon Wilson (00:24:07):
i uh i was locked up for a long time right and and still was a slave to to the sin
Jordon Wilson (00:24:14):
i was a slave to the addiction um i did mat therapy i did in-house treatment uh uh
Jordon Wilson (00:24:20):
iop um mandatory drug screens court-ordered treatment nothing worked until i
Jordon Wilson (00:24:27):
decided
Jordon Wilson (00:24:28):
You know, I'm going to follow Jesus until I decided that there was a God that loved me.
Jordon Wilson (00:24:32):
So I think that the faith aspect is just key in someone maintaining sobriety.
Damon Frank (00:24:39):
Jordan, this has been an amazing episode.
Damon Frank (00:24:41):
I want to, you know, final thoughts here.
Damon Frank (00:24:43):
If somebody's listening to this,
Damon Frank (00:24:44):
especially a guy or so,
Damon Frank (00:24:46):
maybe,
Damon Frank (00:24:46):
you know,
Damon Frank (00:24:46):
it's a family member and they have a man in their life that's really struggling and
Damon Frank (00:24:51):
there seems no hope.
Damon Frank (00:24:53):
What would be your message to them about getting sober, about making the attempt to get sober?
Jordon Wilson (00:25:00):
Yes.
Jordon Wilson (00:25:00):
So if you have a family member that's struggling, uh, being transparent with them, right.
Jordon Wilson (00:25:05):
Telling them how it makes you feel and,
Jordon Wilson (00:25:08):
and,
Jordon Wilson (00:25:08):
and what it's truly doing to them because when someone's in addiction,
Jordon Wilson (00:25:12):
uh,
Jordon Wilson (00:25:12):
they can't see for themselves,
Jordon Wilson (00:25:14):
they can't think clearly for themselves.
Jordon Wilson (00:25:15):
So being transparent.
Jordon Wilson (00:25:17):
And then also I am the product of prayer, right?
Jordon Wilson (00:25:19):
Like my family prayed for me for a long time and they never gave up.
Jordon Wilson (00:25:24):
And so when I was finally ready, um, they were able to help me get,
Jordon Wilson (00:25:30):
into a program.
Jordon Wilson (00:25:31):
So I just think being yourself,
Jordon Wilson (00:25:32):
being available,
Jordon Wilson (00:25:33):
being transparent,
Jordon Wilson (00:25:34):
loving them in a way that's not going to harm them,
Jordon Wilson (00:25:36):
like enabling them.
Jordon Wilson (00:25:37):
You got to be very, very careful not to enable them, but there are ways to help.
Damon Frank (00:25:42):
Absolutely.
Damon Frank (00:25:43):
Jordan, you, this has been just such a great episode.
Damon Frank (00:25:45):
Thank you so much for coming on the Recovered Life Show.
Damon Frank (00:25:47):
We definitely want to have you back to talk more about you and your story.
Damon Frank (00:25:52):
Thanks so much for coming on today.
Jordon Wilson (00:25:55):
My pleasure.
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